A New Song and Dialogue on the Opening of

                  THE PORTS.

COME listen awhile to my song,
And I will not detain you a minute,
It is neither too short nor too long,
But there is something comical in it ,
You have heard what the Queen's going to do,
No doubt she's a regular good un,
The poor she is going to besiego
With nothing but stunning good pudding.
Hurrah ! for the Queen and Free Trade.

JACK.—Well, Tom, my boy, here is glorious
news! the Por are now open, and wheat is now
coming in by ship loads
TOM.—Coming in Jack ! what the devil's the
odds whether it's a coming in or going out, if we
have no money ? Now suppose we could get a
4lb loaf for a penny, if we had not got that
penny, how could we get it ? that's what I want
to know.

Lord John is the Premier of State,
I'm sure he's a good hearted fellow,
He will give us all plenty to eat,
And now I am going for to tell you,
Some members are cutting their throats,
The Queen she will not be mistaken,
For she has thrown open the Ports
To feed us on cabbage and bacon—
But where's the money to buy ?

JACK.—Well, it's true what you say ; but as
for my part, I have no money, and I believe
there are a good many like me But if work
was stirring, and money in circulation—why
then I could get a sheep's head and pluck for
about 9d., that would last me, my wife and six
children all the week—provided I left it in the
cupboard five days out of six.
JACK.—The ports are open, Tom, that's your
sort.
TOM. —The ports are open ! I think they had
need to open their hearts as well as the ports—
for if they don't, I think they will have to open
John Bull's pockets a little wider, for I know
very well that the people's mouths are wide
enough open.

Of promises we've had enough,
What is past is only a token.
Hot cabbage, fat baco , and stuff,
We will have—now the Ports are throwa open.
Fat pigs will be roasted by steam,
And bread for a halfpenny farthing ;
They're going to set ta oes and greens
All in the Zoological Cardeus.

JACK.—I know that Tom, and shut too, for
there is nothing in but wind and poverty, two
very bad comforts ; but cheer up my lad, ba d
now, better another time : the world was not
built in a day.
TOM.—I know that Jack, nor were the ports
opened in a day ; and now they are open, I do
not see anything coming in o be of Service to
you or me either, or any body else
JACK. —Will you inform me wh t they are go-
ing to do or the good of the poor ?

We'll have tea for three half-pence an ounce,
The old women's hearts for to nourish,
O dear, how they'll caper and bou c ,
To see how the tea-pot wi1l flourish !
We shall have pickled onions and beef,
If you will only credit my story,
Duck e s at a farthing a-piece,
And then you will be all in your lorv,
What comical times we shall have !

TOM.—Why they are going to bring in a bill
forward in Parliament for every poor family to
be put in possession of three acres of land, a
large dwelling house, cow house, stable, duck-
house, hen house, pig-stye, cat and dog house,
including a large garden, all for two shillings a
week.
JACK.—Well, Tom, if what you say can be
done, I shall call them clever fellows, and in-
stead of Bobby Peel and Victory, we will sing
Lord John and the Queen for ever !
TOM.—To be sure we should Jack ; and if I
was a Member of Parliament, that is how it
should be—and so help me tea, toast and frying
pan ! if I would'nt fight out thirteen to the do-
zen until I had done some good for the country
—blow me !

They say that Prince AL. and the Queen
Are GoinG to learn to be Bakers,
And Bobby Peel and Little Lord John
Are GoinG to sell hot baked tatoes ;
The poor will have every thinG nice,
And leave poverty three miles behind —
Come sharpen your teeth and rej ice,
You will soon have enouGh for to Grind.
Come cheer up your spirits ouce more.

From W. PRATT's Song Emporium 82, Digbeth,
                       Birmingham.