BITE UPON THE MISTER,
Or, Trick upon. the Parson by the Sailor.

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YOUNG women, if you draw near a while,
i'll fing you a dirty ſhall make you to ſmile,
And you their. have coventons parents draw near,
This ſtory's as true as you ever did hear.
A unfair London city there lived of late,
A wiſer that had wordly itches ſo great,
He had a fair daugther, who all did adore,
But he kept ſingle for the ſake of her ſtore.
Many fine gentlemen came daily to woe,
But yet with father they nothing could do,
for tho' he bad thouſands his heart would not give.
Him to part with his money as long as he liv'd.
This beautiful daniel that was moſt divine,
Said, ſure no one's fortune is like unto mine,
The bloom of my youth I have ſpent like a nun,
My father diſlikes every lover that comes.
I fain would be marry'd, for I do know,
Old maids are diſpis'd wherever they go,
Therfore I will wed while my beauty doth bloom,
I am reſolved to wed the next that doth come,
So now I muſt leave this young mald a while,
Untill fortune upon her is pleaſed to ſmile,
To mention a young man of courrage ſo bold,
Whoſe mind was noble but he had no gold.
He was a ſailor, that plough'd on the main,
Who lately from the Indies came,
Upon this faire creature he then a caſt an eye,
For ſhe was a neighbour that lived hard by.
He ſaid, to court her it is but in vain,
Her father no ſuiter will entertain,
Thoſe that have no riches muſt never come there,
But I'll venture tho' I be never the near.
He wrote to her thus, for pardon I crave,
Since Cupid, dear madam, has made me your ſlave,
I am but a ſailor the truth to unfold,
But true love is better than ſilver or gold.
In many ſtrange countries dear madam I've been,
And many a beautiful face have I ſeen,
But none ever pleas'd me of all I did ſee.
Like the charms my dearſt ſo pleaſing to me.
As ſoon as the letter came to her hand,
By directing another ſhe to him did ſend,
Saying ſir, I find you've a paſſion for me,
I courted have been by ſome lords of renown,
My father diſmiſſes them all with frown,
But if you canfind any means to obtain
Me, by his conſent I your fervent remain.
To court me come in your paulin dreſs,
For then the old man will like you the beſt,
It is true he has ſlighted ſome perſons of ſame,
Who knows but a ſailor his favour may gain.
The ſailor dreſt him ſo neat and ſo trim,
And to ſee the maiden he did come in,
Her father ſeeing him come into the room,
Went up, and aſked him from whence he came.
The ſailor made him no anſwer at all
But ſtep'd in the room and embrac'd her withal,
The old man amz'd theſe adventures to ſee,
Cries, impudent raſcal, who can it be,
Sue ſaid it is one whom I do adore.
He'll wed the and does not value your ſtore,
You will not wed me with one that has gold,
Therefore I will wed with this ſailor bold,
Then the old man bid ſtrait way be gone,
And ſee no more you after her come
Sir, I for my daugther a parſon deſign,
And they ſhall be wedded in a ſhort time,
'The ſailor ſurpris'd to herar what he did ſay,
In a ſorrowful ſort went jogging away,
And the daughter amaz'd his for ſee,
Began to enquire who this parſon might be
Her father ſaid a man juſt and true.
One who I'm ſure is the fitteſt for you,
He preaches the goſpel your ſoul he may ſave,
I prefer him to one who is ever ſo brave.
But this peace of divinity ſit let me ſee,
Who you are willing & build wed me
The father cried you ſhall ſee him to night
And if you like him wed him outright.
Night being come, the old curate came,
But ſure ſuch a fight never was ſeen,
Both old and decripid a hump on his back,
With a noſe and a chin a walnut wouId crack.
The prieſt went trudging into her room,
By your father's conſent my dear I am come,
His pleaſure it is my wife you ſhall be,
And a loving huſband I will be to thee.
The lady was proper as many report,
He went to ſalute her but he was too ſhort,
He ſearcely could reach to her apron ſtring,
But heartily beg'd her to ſloop to him.
This charming creature reply'd with a ſmile,
To ſloop to a man is not worth my while,
Indeed Mr. Parſon to text your plain,
I never dehgu to ſloop to a man.
He ſaid, if I have you without any coutroul,
I muſt direct, you for to good of your ſoul,'
And therefore be humble and meek my dear,
And then to ſalute her be jump on a chair.
He eagerly kits'd her, ſsaid ſweet are thy chairm
I never can reſt but in thy dear arms,
So then her father came rumbleing in,
And ſaid deaar daughter can you fancy him.
Sweet honoured father the lady reply'd,
The old man in a paſſion down ſtairs did his
And I wore the failor ſhould inſtantly die,
A coachmin had lived withhim ſome
A covetous wretch after the coin,
A relolute it ſſian at erez you did know,
He ſeedely into thid fellow did no.

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